Today, Pope Benedict XVI starts his four-day visit to England and Scotland. Personally, I wish he'd stayed in Rome.
Not only is his trip over here costing our country money that might better be spent elsewhere but, frankly, he makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
I didn't really have any problem with the old Pope. He seemed a nice old duffer; the kind of man you'd like for your uncle (I was going to say grandfather, but that would probably be considered inappropriate). However, this current pope is something different.
Whenever I see him on telly I keep thinking he ought to be accompanied by a tall man who wears a black cloak and mask and breathes really heavily, and maybe his personal army of stormtroopers. I just feel it would complete the picture.
Or maybe not. Maybe what that picture really needs to be complete is a bunch of lovable rebels doing something fun but rebellious.
And that reminded me of badges a friend used to hand out, stating: "The wearer of this badge is an authorised Pope."
My friend was a Discordian, a member of a religious movement that thinks life should not be taken too seriously. It also claims in its holy book - Principia Discordia- that every single man, woman and child on this Earth is a Pope.
And seeing as Discordians all over the place are still fulfilling their holy mission of giving free Pope authorisation cards to anyone who wants one, I decided to claim mine. You can see it above. And, for the duration of the Pope's visit, I shall wear it with pride.
If you would like one too, you can get it at http://jubal.westnet.com/hyperdiscordia/popecard.html. All you have to do is type in your name, click and get a card to prove that you, too, are a Pope!
If we can get enough rebellious-minded people to do so too, the Pope's visit could be a lot more fun.
Principia Discordia: How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her (Forgotten Books)